Cute Little Revolutionaries

Party Crashers
The peace-loving, road-blocking, window-smashing protesters at the RNC. by Christopher Beam, at Slate

Hard to pin down piece following a group of "protesters" (read: vandals/anarchists/idiots) as they act like the over-privileged, under-educated morons they are, "demonstrating at and around the RNC in St. Paul.

Beam seems to be at least somewhat sympathetic to the young jackasses, but he can't help be take a hilariously mocking tone towards their often destructive idiocy.

The delegation reaches Seventh Street and Wabasha and stops. A crowd has gathered, including major media. ("Are you NPR?" asks one protester excitedly.) Goodner takes the bullhorn and recites a list of grievances. Civilians are dying in Iraq. The federal government botched the relief effort in New Orleans. There's no "free tuition" for college or "free health care." "Mother Earth is crying in pain, from, uh …" he trails off. The crowd laughs. He mumbles something about alternative energy. "It's windy here!" offers another protester. An onlooker comes up to me. "Shouldn't they be in college?"

Another vanful of riot police pulls up. Meanwhile, a counterprotest is forming. As an Iraq chant begins, one of the anti-rioters yells, "You could have volunteered!" "Or take a bath!" shouts another. A protester raises two middle fingers skyward: "Fuck you, white America!" The two hecklers seem baffled. "You're white," says one.

But the fun soon turns destructive, as a Macy's window is smashed (The idiot responsible apparently slashed his wrist in the process. Good.) and police cars are vandalized.

I finally spot four members of my group—that's how I think of them—sitting against a wall, lying low. I ask them if it's over. "It's not over," one says. But they look tired. They don't know where everyone went. Plus, classes start tomorrow. I ask if they saw the people breaking windows. They say that's not what they came to do. They just wanted to block a few intersections. "No matter what I do now," a girl says, "I'll be associated with that."

Hopefully. What a bunch of utter morons. I don't know how cops can stand by and witness this kind of thing and not give in to what must be a very strong temptation to crack a few keffiyeh-draped skulls. They're stronger people than I.